Life's Purpose-- 

Stuart Smally was a recurring Saturday Night Live character that first popped up in the early  90's. He was a life coach who would make his clients repeat daily affirmations. His catch phrase  was making people repeat after him, I'm good enough. I'm smart enough... And dog gone it...  People like me." If you haven't seen it, it is worth seeing Michael Jordan trying to stifle his  laughter as he is repeating the phrase and adding, "It doesn't matter if I make the ball in the  basket...."  

Syd and I picked this up as a habit whenever we had a full day. The gimmick was that Stuart  would have his "clients" repeat the phrase into a mirror. We would say it as we were getting  ready in the morning. I can 100 percent guarantee that Syd said it and laughed as she got ready  to interview for the job as Spa Director of Ihilani Resort. I said it as I started training to become a  Master Instructor Trainer for sailing. We said it when we knew we were absolutely unqualified  and unprepared for the task at hand but we were going to overwhelm the situation with  relentless enthusiasm.  

Along the way to becoming the Spa Director, Syd had earned her Master's Degree. It was a  Masters in Social Work. Initially she took the classes because a friend had inspired her to do so  and she knew she could get it while working full time. The Master's Degree was helpful because  it opened doors--Eventually though, social work would define her life.  

Add a result of her experience at Ihilani, Syd eventually was part of a staff that opened a chain  of spas from scratch. She enjoyed the challenge, and often would repeat the comical words of  empowerment as she rushed off to bang out hundred hour work weeks.  

It was around this time that I was waking up at four in the morning just so I could see her? On  one such day, I was swinging my legs out of bed when my blurry vision detected the movement  that every resident of Hawaii is trained to see--in this case it was a massive centipede that was  startled by the light I had turned on. it was sprinting (with something like 5000 legs) to get under  the bed. I grabbed the closest thing to me.  

You should know I had a prized possession that my parents had insisted I take with me once  Syd and I were married. It is a huge nautical bell. It was a trophy that meant a lot to me. Syd  absolutely refused to let me display it in the house so as a compromise it was abandoned on my  side of the bed between the bed and the wall--Luckily. 

Cut to Syd, who is finishing her hair and saying her daily affirmations when she hears me  screaming, "Die, Die, Die, M***er F***er, DIE!!!" I am simultaneously bludgeoning what is left of  the massive insect into a puddle on the floor. The bell is ringing and every dog in the  neighborhood is barking. I am surprised the neighbors did not call the cops because I am sure  they thought I was murdering my wife. Syd sprinted the roughly five feet to our room (our early  apartment was a palatial 300 square feet). She was not impressed by how brave I had been  slaying my first dragon. This may have been the first of many that I would have to kill. I  remember realizing that my dad would not be there to do it for me. I was dismayed.  

Syd went off to work. No neighbor cared enough to check on her. I guess they looked to see  that there was no bell shaped bruise on her face and left it at that. 

Around 911 Syd realized the Spa industry was not her life's purpose. Mark Twain had a quote  that describes this moment in time. "The two most important days of your life are the day you  were born and the day you realize your purpose in life." Syd was in her 30's when she  discovered hers. For Syd, one of her classmates had begun introducing her to the idea of  becoming a probation officer. I remember she told me it was incredibly safe--It wasn't.  

The night before her interview for her job, we had dinner with a friend's mom. The mom had just  retired from probation in California. Syd asked her what she liked best about her job. She  responded without hesitation: "If you have done your job well, and they are receptive to your  help, you have returned a productive member to society. On the other hand, if you catch them  re-offending, you put them back in prison and the streets are that little bit safer."  That was actually the line Syd used in her interview when they asked her about her interest in  dramatically shifting careers.  

Syd squeezed in a little over 20 years in the Federal System. She helped as many as were  interested. Along the way, she testified in front of Federal judges but not without the Stuart  Smally ritual. It turns out, that she was good enough, smart enough and dog gone it people did  love her. I can't tell you how many people would contact her after getting out of prison and being  cleared of their commitments to treatment only to thank her. In some cases the tough love had  cleared a path for them.  

Syd's passion, once discovered, was helping people become the hero of their own lives. If it  was her friends, it may be a job choice, a relationship choice or an athletic goal. If it was one of  her clients it might be all that and some choices that would lead to meaningful employment and  ultimately their own life's goals.