RED SOLO CUPS 

If you didn't know Syd well, you may think that most of the stories are fueled by alcohol--That  would be incorrect. I can count, on slightly more than one hand, how many serious hangovers  she had. There was nothing worse than wasting a day (after a good time). I can't tell you how  

many New Years Days were followed by hikes, trips to the sandbar, beach walks, bike rides, or  trips to flat island or the Mokes. These were cherished times with fewer people and less traffic.  There was no greater crime than to be hungover on a sunny day. 

If you saw the Christmas Tree Costume video or the hula hoop video you would think she was  wild and crazy (she was)--She just also happened to be sober. In the Christmas Tree costume,  she was in chemo; In the hula hoop video she was our designated driver.  

Most of you know she was a Federal Probation Officer. She had her own government issue  breathalyzer and she, (and her co-workers), were encouraged to use it so they would be  comfortable in the field. On more than one neighborhood party (where no one was driving), Syd  realized 1 and a half glasses of wine would allow her to slide in under the radar (.075). I am  Guynormous so for me it is about 2 3/4 shots. Neither of us would operate heavy machinery like  that but it was a good base to go on and it was under .08 

There are some stories I have already referenced. This is the best guess at where her reading  would come in.  

Sorority Pizza--Definitely under the influence. I wasn't there but from what she described, she  probably would have blown a .24. 

Condom Earrings--This was the first party I invited her to. She probably would have been a .16 

Where Is My Pizza?--This was an all night work function for the grand opening of a spa so this  was stone cold sober. 

Armadillo Racing-- You blow on the armadillos anus to get them to move. This was also a case  of total abstinence... and she won.  

Bee Fucking Awesome-- Totally sober...Until after, but it was probably one margarita and two  bottles of water plus some electrolytes.  

Stair Luging at Erik and Scott's House--There was absolutely a hangover there. Also, just for the  record, Scott and I had just met that summer and were entrusted with spotting all the stair  Lugers and not a single person crashed into the wall--At least not hard. 

The first Cinco de Mayo after moving in next door to Chris--Both Syd and I were over confident  because Chris had us practice on the Tres de Mayo and we had done so well. He had us over  for sipping top quality tequila. There were no consequences and we thought we were immortal,  

On the day of, however, we brought dirty margaritas. Cheap tequila and sugar will get you every  time. We only live next door so we made it home fine but I woke up on the tile floor in the  hallway and Syd said her hair hurt.  

Beth Chapman--Absolutely sober--It was a professional conference (on the mainland) where  she was getting a grade. I had encouraged her not to wear the outfit because I know how 

uptight mainlanders can be. She won the conference and the other contestants had no idea it  was a contest. Most of them had delivered the traditional death by PowerPoint format. Syd was  running up and down the aisles handing out Dog-The-Bountyhunter coffee mugs and tossing  packs of macadamia nuts into the crowd. When she called me, she said, "I ignored your advice  and did what I wanted and it went very well." 

SCHEDULED BREAKDOWNS 

As this year progressed, Syd stopped listening to all the bad news. She still went to all the tests  and scans so her doctors could select treatments but she asked them to stop letting her know  the extent of the spread. One day she called me as I was on my way to work. She must have  received some bad news. She told me her plan for the day. She gave herself two hours to cry,  followed by an hour long shower. That would give her an hour before she and Spencer would be  seeing their acupuncturist. She always knew that would put her in a good mood. She is the only  person I have ever seen, schedule their own breakdowns.  

I am amazed by her constant ability to will herself to be happy and cheerful and to surround  herself with likeminded people. Don't get me wrong, there were tears in the hospital and in  hospice, but I think those were outnumbered by giggles, cackles and smiles.